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Writing
a Good Personal Ad
To
thine own self be true. That should be the motto of your personal
ads. It should express who you are and what you expect. Of
course, actually getting what you expect is a whole different
story... God knows I never would have expected some of the
responses I got!
The Title. Avoid the cliche phrases like "Looking
for Mr. (or Miss) Right", "Tired of the Bar Scene",
"Tired of Being Lonely", etc. Think of it as a newspaper
headline. You want it to catch attention and make the reader
want to read it. Something that somehow reflects the theme
of your ad is good. Take a look at other ads and see what
titles catch your eye. Stay clear of negative titles, like
"Why Is No One Writing To Me?" Even if no one IS
writing to you... no one will if you sound sorry-assed.
The
Stats. Most personal sites want you to enter information
about your age, height, marital status, whether you smoke
or drink, etc. If your goal is to ultimately hook up with
someone in real life, don't lie here. They'll notice when
you meet whether or not you smoke or have kids or what your
height, weight, and age are. It's better to be up front than
seem like a liar. I know there's some out there saying, "But
if I say I weigh ______ pounds, no one will be interested!"
Do you want someone shallow enough to exclude you because
of your weight? For one thing, you don't have to give exact
amounts. On every form I've seen, the weight was optional.
Just leave it blank. Another point... there *are* people out
there that prefer a body with a few extra pounds. Not everyone
wants Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston look alikes.
Pictures.
If you want a lot of responses, you'd better have a picture.
Many don't even look at ads without pictures. From my experience,
and from what I've heard from others, it seems that people
who don't have pictures of themselves are usually hiding something.
So, if you don't have a picture, people are going to assume
you look like a dog's butt. Don't know anything about digital
pictures? Click here.
Location,
location, location. Where you list your ad will determine
the responses you get. For instance, I'm from a small town
near the Poconos. If I listed it by name, I'd probably only
get people from *right* around here writing to me (there's
not many of them!).... and those guys from Saudi Arabia and
Turkey who write to everyone. So, instead, I placed ads saying
I was from "near" Philadelphia and New York. Both
are about an hour and a half away, not a terrible distance
to overcome. Who's the one who I finally fell for? A guy from
180 miles away. If I had listed my ad in the town where I
live, Fritz probably never would have written to me. Neither
would Jonn, or Kevin, or most of the other great friends I
met online. So, this site probably would never have existed!
What's my point? Don't limit yourself geographically.
The
message. This is the main body (or essay section) of your
story -- where you get your chance to express yourself and
tell everyone what kind of person you are and what you're
looking for. Really think about what you're going to say.
Better yet, type it in WordPad and copy it into the text box.
You'll type at a more leisurely pace and won't feel as "crowded"
as you do in the form. And you'll have spell check at your
disposal.
What
should you talk about? Talk about your interests. Think
about what movies, books, or music you love. What sets you
apart from everyone else? Is it your sense of humor, your
compassionate nature, your intellect, your ability to stand
on your head and spit nickels? Talk about it. Don't be embarrassed
by your silly quirks. It's what makes you ... YOU. Still not
sure what to say about yourself? Ask your friends.
It's
also a good idea to talk about what you want from this ad.
To make friends? Fall in love? Meet someone to hang out with?
Do you want something short term or long term? Do you just
want to chit chat? While everyone is entitled to your own
opinions, I'll have to point out that saying you want to fall
madly in love and get married is going to scare a lot of folks
away. I should warn you that there are a number of nasty people
out there who pray on the innocent and naive by saying what
they want to hear. So letting everyone know that you really
really really want to fall in love NOW, might let mean con-artists
know you're vulnerable. Avoid negativity. No need to mention
how badly your ex hurt you when you broke up. No need to mention
how lonely you are. No need to mention that you don't like
mind games. NO ONE likes mind games!
After
you place the ad... Women are going to get a lot more
responses than men. It's just a fact. Get prepared to be completely
swamped with responses, especially the first few days. I know
it's probably rude to not respond at all to responses, but
there's just no time to do it all. When I had ads, I'd set
up a bunch of different folders for my mail and filter the
e-mails into the appropriate categories. "Respond To"
for the really good ones. "Maybe" for those that
don't completely float my boat, but are still pretty good.
"Nope" for the ones that don't give you enough info
to go by. and "Never" for the weird sickos that
kind of scared me. The first few days were usually too overwhelming
to write back to many people, so I'd sit on 'em for a while,
and reread them a few times before responding. Sometimes,
in different frame of mind, or through sheer boredom, you'd
want to write to someone you put in the "nope" folder.
And maybe you'd want to forward the "nevers" to
your friends... Trust me, it's fun!
Writing
a Good Personal Ad
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2003 Lorina.Net
Lorina is the webmaster and administrator
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personal ad resources such as Dating
Advice Forums and Dating
Review.
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