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Too
Much Too Soon
When
you meet someone online, whether it's through discussion boards,
chat rooms, or personal ads, one of the pitfalls is that you're
at risk of falling HARD for someone before you get a chance
to meet in person. Here's a guest article/rant/warning by
"Xena" (aka Jaylin or Jen) from our discussion board...
All you guys can hate me for being the devil's advocate
and for "bursting bubbles" but I've been there and
I KNOW what I'm talking about. Please be careful with your
emotions. Things over the internet can get very intense very
quickly and that isn't always good. I've seen a lot of people
become completely convinced that the person online is the
right one for them only to see them get their hearts broken
when the real meeting happens.
You
can't know someone completely over a computer. It's impossible.
However, you can experience real emotions for that person
and it hurts just as bad if things don't work out as losing
a real life relationship hurts.
One
of the big things that I see happen is that communication
breaks down when it's face to face. People are often quite
capable of expressing their thoughts and feelings over irc/email
but can't translate that to real life. It can be a real problem.
So can physical attraction. You can often times have chemistry
over the net but be unable to find it in real life.
I
don't want to sour you on the idea, but I've been there, done
that and seen it happen to a lot of other people. Take your
time and keep things in perspective. How someone's hand feels
in yours and the way they kiss can be just as important as
how they feel about you. You cannot know if it's right until
you have spent some close up and personal time with someone.
It's
something to think about. Sorry if I sound negative. I just
don't want to see anyone get hurt :)
--
Xena, Aug. 2000
Want to Avoid Heartache?
Avoid the following...
Acting
like a couple before you're a couple - The problem with
being involved with someone you don't see on a regular basis
is that you end up "imagining" how they would be
in real life. You don't get exposed to body language -- and
annoying habits like nose-picking or knuckles cracking.
Wait
for that "perfect" moment to meet - Once you
realize you're developing feelings for someone, or even think
that you'd really like to get to know this person better,
meet as soon as humanly possible! The longer you wait, the
more unrealistic expectations you're going to have.
Cybersex
& Cheesecake Shots - Do I really have to explain why
this is bad? Well... the cybersex goes along with the whole
"building unrealistic expectations." It's just fantasy
- and in fantasy there's no sweating, no smells, and no noises.
No matter *how* good you are in real life, it's NOT going
to be the same. And sending nude or scantily clad pictures...
That's just 100% TACKY!!! Unless you really *want* those pictures
to end up on someone's amateur porn website some day... Besides,
if you cyber and send naked pics, it's going to be assumed
that you're going to have sex within 15 minutes of meeting.
Do you want that kind of reputation (not to mention that kind
of pressure)?
The
L-Word - Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic after all, but
no matter how strongly I felt about someone, I'd want that
person to tell me he loves me to my FACE, not in an e-mail
or on the phone.
Too Much Too Soon
©
2003 Lorina.Net
Written by Lorina with the help of the fine members of Dating
Advice Forums. Lorina is
the webmaster and administrator of this site, as well as numerous
other online dating and personal ad resources such as Dating
Advice Forums and Dating
Review.
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