|
Play
It Safe Online
The
Internet has become the hot new place for smart, eligible
people to find romance, and those looking for love are swarming
into cyberspace. As a result, many individuals have begun
relationships online with people they have not met and know
little about.
With so many people communicating via the Net and deciding
to date virtual strangers, it is important to be safe and
be smart. Common sense can go a long way to keep you safe.
Here are some guidelines for playing it safe:
Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true.
Begin by first communicating solely by email or online chat.
Be vigilant in noticing odd behavior or inconsistencies. If
someone is evasive, this is a red flag. "Listen"
to your correspondent's words. The person at the other end
may not be who or what he/she says. Trust your instincts.
If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own
safety and protection.
Find
out as much information as you can.
Learn to ask many questions. Find out where he grew up, where
she works, and how he is connected to his community. These
are clues to finding out who this person really is. Be suspicious,
if someone is unwilling to reveal any personal identifying
information. Probe any discrepancies in their stories. If
your correspondent is unwilling to answer your questions,
this is another red flag. Continue with a great deal of caution.
Honesty is the key to success.
Represent yourself accurately. Exaggerating or deceiving is
easy online. Areas to be particularly cautious about are marital
status and physical appearance. Begin with a request for a
picture and send them a recent one of you. If someone is unwilling
to send a recent photo, this is warning sign. If he or she
continuously comes up with an excuse, it is because that person
has something to hide. Having a scanned photo is available
at Kinko's for less than ten dollars, so there is no valid
excuse for not doing it. After you have exchanged photos,
continue to fill in the gaps, so that the other person does
not create you in their image. Keep it honest.
Talk on the telephone and continue to learn more about your
correspondent.
A phone call can reveal a lot about a person's communication
and social skills. It is worth the cost of the call to protect
your security. But do not give out your phone number to a
stranger. Trust takes time to develop. Only when you feel
completely comfortable should you furnish your phone number.
Don't rush into anything.
Meeting someone online and then arranging a date in a relatively
short time can be dangerous. Take time to find out who this
person really is. If someone is pressuring you to get together
before you are ready, this is another warning sign. If anything
feels strange as you get to know this person, then it is time
to back away and look for another match.
If you decide to meet for a date, proceed with caution. Arrange
the meeting on your terms. The following is a guide to ensure
that you have a safe encounter:
Before You Meet
Before you go out with someone new, it is important to get
as much information as you can about the person you will meet.
1.
Always ask for a full name, address, and telephone number
before agreeing to go out with someone you have never met.
2. Never go out with someone who will only give you a pager
or work phone number. (There is a very good chance of a spouse
in the house.)
3. When someone gives his or her phone number, find a reason
to call unexpectedly. This may help you to find out if she
is married or he is living with someone.
4. Find out where the person works and if you can call him
or her at work
First
Date Know-How
Be
careful when agreeing to meet anyone in person.
Set the conditions for your date and do not let the other
person change them. Remember, you really do not know someone
until you spend time with them in person.
1. Always tell someone where you are going with your date
and when you will return. Leave your date's full name and
telephone numbers with that person and write it down. For
a small fee, you can leave information regarding where you
are going and all the pertinent details with a service called
SmartDate at http://www.smartdate.com. If your date wants
you to keep it secret, this is a very big red flag. Protect
yourself.
2. Always meet in a public place that you are familiar with
on your first date. Stay near other people in a lighted area.
Getting together for coffee is a pleasant, casual way to get
to know someone.
3. Never allow yourself to be picked up from your house. Giving
your address out to a stranger is not safe. Arrange your own
transportation so that you can leave if there is any sign
of trouble.
4. Pay attention to everything that this person has told you
about him or herself. If you find out that your date has lied
about anything, this is another red flag.
5. Do not bring your date back to your house after the first
meeting. You do not know this person. Use the same kind of
common sense and rules that you would use in any type of dating
relationship.
Be smart and be safe. Take control of your future. Know what
you are getting into before you invest your heart, money,
or your life. Information is the key.
Now
that you've got some safety tips, be bold. Check out Match.com
and meet that someone special!
Linda
Alexander, Esq. is president of WhoisHe.Com and WhoisShe.Com,
a professional service that provides (for a small fee) a personal
profile and background check on your cyber-date or potential
mate. WhoisHe.Com furnishes the most current public record
information, usually within twenty-four hours of your request.
WhoisHe.Com has helped thousands of people discover the truth
about the people they are meeting both online and off. For
additional information about this service call 800/503-3756
or send email to CheckHimOut@WhoisHe.Com or CheckHerOut@WhoisShe.Com.
Mix
'n Match Copyright © 1999 Match.Com Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
|
