|
Should
You Relocate for Love?
The
sun is shining for you, the birds are singing, there's a spring
in your step, and you've suddenly become one of those people
who hums. You're in love. Life is good except for one small
problem. Your sweetie is hundreds or perhaps thousands of
miles away. It's a geographic dilemma. And as exciting as
the whirlwind weekends of romance are, the two of you are
beginning to think about how nice it would be to share all
of the little things that people in the same area code take
for granted, like spontaneity and casual time. Should you
relocate for love? Moving means a major upheaval of your life,
but the long-distance thing is expensive, frustrating, and
ultimately limiting the depth of your relationship. Here are
some issues to ponder when you're considering relocating:
What
kind of life do you imagine for yourself in the new area?
You
may have found Prince or Princess Charming, but how do you
feel about the kingdom? Is this some place that you can envision
yourself living out the rest of your days? How do you feel
about the quality of life? Take into account the weather,
cost of living, access to cultural events, proximity to wilderness,
etc.
How
do you plan to set up a support system in the new place?
Do
you have job prospects there? What about friends or family?
Moving is emotionally stressful. You will be parting with
people, places, and things that are important to you. How
comfortable are you with getting to know new people? You and
your companion will need to get used to being together, and
you will also be dealing with all the emotions of becoming
accustomed to a new place. Think about what you need to do
to keep from feeling isolated and lost.
Will
your lifestyle change completely?
True
love is the best thing in the world, but be sure that something
appeals to you about moving to your new area beyond one person.
Rural life, for example, may be perfect for your mate, but
if you're an urbanite, how long will it keep you happy? Are
you excited about living there? Will line dancing in Dallas
do it for you when you're used to theatre in New York, or
vice versa? Think about how you'll adapt to the local culture
and how much of a lifestyle change you're willing to make.
If you can't think of a few ways to spend your time, think
a little harder about whether this is the right step right
now. Also, if, god forbid, you and your partner broke up,
would the new area have any redeeming qualities for you?
How
much time have you previously spent in your new area?
So,
you thought northern Alaska was simply stunning when you visited
your love there for a week in the summer, but how are you
going to feel about the two hours of daylight in January?
It is an issue. Find out as much as you can about this possible
new home so you can make an informed decision.
* Will you be accessible to old friends and family?
You must set up a new support system of friends in your new
area, but old friends and family can never be replaced. Think
about how you'll manage keeping in touch. Consider the financial
burden if you'll be moving far away from most of the people
you know and love. This is especially important if you're
planning to start a family in this new place. Are you prepared
to get Mom's advice over the phone?
How
are you going to say goodbye?
For
many people, a home town is a big part of your identity. All
of the people and activities that make it special to you also
make it hard to leave. Relocating means closing a chapter
of your life and starting a new one, and your friends and
colleagues may not be all that supportive of your decision.
How you will respond to adverse reactions? Make a list for
yourself of all the pros and cons about moving. It will help
you in explaining how you feel. Your best friends just want
you to be happy.
How
should you close up your life in the town you're leaving?
Moving
is a major life change which gives you the freedom and the
opportunity to re-evaluate how your life is structured and
what's important to you. Take advantage of this contemplative
time. If you decide that relocating is what you want to do,
tie up your loose ends in your old home. Do the things that
you always meant to do there and say all of the things that
you'd always planned on saying someday. Keep what you value,
but get rid of your dead weight and move on.
The
magnetic pull between two people who are absolutely right
for each other can push many obstacles out of the way. Relocating
is a big decision, and it will inevitably be stressful, but
sometimes you've just gotta listen to your heart. Packing
up your singlehood and your current way of life is both scary
and exciting, but if your partner is patient, understanding,
and willing to compromise, you'll have the best companion
possible to help you get through it. The two of you can unpack
boxes, transfer bills, explore the sights, and hum through
it all together. And that's the best very part.
Find
the one that "moves" you at Match.com !
Mix
'n Match Copyright © 1999 Match.Com Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
by
Eve Rasmussen
|
